April 2005 letter to small group leaders

from Bill Christensen, Small Groups Pastor

Dear fellow leader,

The little book, Life Together, by World War II era German theologian, pastor and martyr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, has had a great influence on me over the past few years. In particular, this book portrays so well the nature of genuine Christian community. Bonhoeffer's thoughts have inspired me and I hope his thoughts help and encourage you with your group.

Over the many years I have been in and led small groups, I have always had the initial reaction of disappointment with whatever group I was in. Fortunately for me, I've kept with each group and grown as a result. To my surprise, when I first read Life Together some time ago, I found Bonhoeffer describing this exact experience of disappointment in community. Here's where Bonhoeffer chastened me. In Chapter 1 he explains that genuine Christian community is sourced and anchored in Christ alone. Any other ideal for community is just an ideal, or as Bonhoeffer puts it, “a wish dream” (pg 26). Then came the rebuke for me:

“The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together would be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.”

Bonhoeffer goes on to say that this disillusionment is a gift from God so that we will not live with an idealized image of fellowship separated from truth, but rather come face to face with real fellowship – warts and all –and in this place readily see it is possible only because of Jesus. He's not saying we can only hope for relationships that are difficult and trying. He is saying, however, that we must thank God for what we have. And pulling from Jesus' words about being faithful in little, Bonhoeffer says that if we thank God for the little He gives in community, then we will, over time, be thanking God for much!

I really was rebuked here, realizing I had wasted much time belittling something good that God had given as genuine fellowship with flaws.

As I am learning more this discipline of thanking Him for what He gives, I am genuinely finding more and more things that I love about the groups I've been in. For example, the current group that Dotty and I lead is truly a motley crew. Every once in a while we realize that there's no way we'd be in the same room together were it not for Jesus! Here's just one personal example. For years, I struggled with not wanting to spend time with single moms but not because I didn't like single moms; I think it was probably because I was reminded of my difficulty growing up in a broken home. But over the years, I have come to love having single moms in our group. Just a few months ago when praying for someone, I had a picture of the grand gathering in heaven and people being called out to go up to Jesus and receive their reward. I saw all kinds of single moms there in the front, honored by everyone and commended by Jesus for being faithful in the face of great pressure. I have seen numerous occasions in which my single parent friends excelled in faith within trials. I am a better person for it.

Here's another example. One member of our group is from a foreign country and has lived a long time in the US . We had just spent the evening having dinner as a group and had a great time just being together. As this person got ready to go, she started to speak in her native language. She then caught herself and told Dotty, “Thank you, I have felt so much at home tonight that I unconsciously started speaking my native language!”

I love the fact that people who are so different from me and from one another get to learn to love one another in my group because of Jesus. Make no mistake…it is very difficult at times! But the payoff on the other side is so worth it! I won't bore you with a long list of the reasons that I love my group – don't want to sound like I'm bragging! But let me encourage you to take some time to ask God to give you specific things for which you can thank God for about your fellowship, about your little community, in Christ. I am sure that if you do this, you will see more reasons to thank God for your group.

Gratefully,

Bill